Farewell Post

Alright now, I thought I'd be outta the blogging business now but I guess I need to come back here so that I can present my farewell post in a more convenient and organized way. 

Here's a little confession to make: When I was in Form One, I was terribly afraid of my own classmates. I felt as if I didn't fit in well -- I called myself a misfit then. I was practically depressed about everything-- at the fact that I was from a Chinese school with weirdo chinapek accent, having Set 3 for everything, having no secure group of friends like the rest of my classmates et cetera. Sometimes I would return home, tearing out old newspaper just to vent out my anger. I guess I was a depressed and angry little brat.

Then...I met a bunch of nice people from 1W and 1P. I met Layin, Clarissa, Ashley and a whole lot of other peeps that really made my high school life memorable. You guys have really helped to bring me outta my little shell I was hiding in for months. For that, I would like to say a big thank-you =)

Then, I just sailed through Form 1, and stepped into Form 2, and Form 3.

Something happened in Form 4. Well it didn't exactly happen out of the blue moon or anything like that, but I could foresee that the year was going to have tons of turbulence, and I was like a passenger plane trying to get through the bad weather. I must admit that I'm a very clingy person, and I'm super dependent on my friends. So when I was being left alone, I didn't have anywhere to go. I couldn't exactly relate to anyone at that time, nor can I just pop into one random clique and go "Hi! So...what are you guys talking about??" 

Last year was a terrible year, yet it made me realize that change must occur in order to improve and strengthen my own character. I guess you can say that all that happened last year had somehow hardened me, I learnt not to trust people so easily. But thank God for all my friends who were very kind to help me out of my problems. Maybe they didn't know their roles in it, but still, I feel blessed to call them my friends.

I wish I can list out all of you who had helped me through this bittersweet experience of high school life, but I don't think that's possible ---the list is simply too long! Anyways, I'll try my best to do it. Note: I'm a little woozy right now, so I might miss out a point of two here. I'll update them when I finally remember them again.

I'll start off with my Jolly Rockers (Going from anti-clockwise):

Gwen and Yuan eating choco and rum cake. Yums.

Gwen - Funny, crazy, psychotic(and that's an understatement of the century), crazy, weird , nice...the list goes on. As you all know, this is the person who laughs the loudest in class, she just can't keep quiet when one of us crack some lame jokes. To tell ya the truth, whenever I say something stupid in class, and when she laughs, I will always try to calm her down in fear of getting caught by the teacher. ALWAYS! I always regret telling her jokes in class, especially during lessons. I'll go like "DARN IT! Why did I even tell her that?? Now she can't stop laughing". Gwen, I just wanna tell you that I am very, very thankful to have known you, even though you're so psychotic. You've been such an inspiring figure to look up to, never giving up (especially when you're trying to fight for your trial marks) and always so optimistic about things, well, usually anyways. I've only known you as a close friend at the end of last year when you started to sit beside me during lessons, and thank goodness you did that. You've filled my life with so much of laughter that I swear I've developed some good abs from laughing so much. Thank you for all those good times during post-exam activities, CF camp, and our Pavilion outings. Thank you for being such a good Eng.Lit Buddy, corrupting the poems into your twisted and sick version of entertainment. I'll always remember your version of Sonnet 43. Oh that reminds me, I still need to post you the lyrics to I Pretend Being A Girl for Yuanie :D 

Yuan - Yeah. The gay one. KthxBai. 

Nah I kid you, he's not really gay.

Yuan has been really nice to me. I always thought he's the most quiet in our group, but then...the quiet one usually has something twisted and morbid going on in the head. Maybe he's plotting a murder, I don't know. Haha. The Math geek of 5M, gila, (horny?), lazy but smart, ATM machine for everybody, probably still have the hots for Jamie Chung. 

Yuan has this calming effect, I don't know how that works, but usually when I'm pissed off about Accounts or Math, he'll always turn back and look at me with this look ---> o.O, and then he'll ask me what don't I understand in Math, and yes, always Math, never Accounts. Then I'll calm down. He has SOMEHOW, encouraged me and motivated me to do better in Math. If there's anything I've learnt from him, it's that in Math, there's always a solution to a problem and if there isn't any, well..just write something. Or ask Yuan.

I gotta say, Yuan, even though we've been friends for some time now, I realized that I don't know much about you, and I regret saying this, but I do wish that I've known you better. Maybe we should hang out more, buy Frappuccinos and maybe look at calculators on the racks...or something. I am really thankful to have known you too. I am really glad that we've participated CF camp together, joined the concert choir and rented our UN day costume at some bizarre place. You've been such a good buddy when I didn't finish my homework because, well, usually you don't do your work too (not that I'm encouraging you to neglect your homework with me). Seriously Yuan, no more fooling around in college. Finish up your assignments.

Gil - Weird, funny, happy-go-lucky, crazy about bar jokes, a cat person, an owl (I can almost hear him hoot)

Yes, this is GBP, I'm not joking. By the way, check out his mum's blog. She makes tons of good stuff! 

I remember when I was Form 1, I used to think Gil was the weirdest and quietest guy in class. I still think he's weird. Who knew I'll be his friend at some point of my life. 

Now, Gil is probably the nearest thing to a pirate I'll ever know in my life. I swear, sometimes I think the reason why he ponteng so much is that at night he probably spends too much time threatening people to walk the plank till he can't wake up to go to school the next day. Or maybe he always gets flu from the cold sea water. Out of us four, he's probably the one that holds the Jolly Rockers together. I can't thank him enough for being such a good friend, helping me out when I have deal with all those life-and-death matters like wondering whether to skip school or not, and tons of other things. 

He's also one who gives a lot of good advice, sort of like a mini counselor operating without a license. He's a good buddy when it comes to music and books, basically because he likes the same type of music as I do, and he enjoys reading just about anything as long as they're good. So there're lots of things we can actually relate to with each other. From the bottom of my black little heart, I would like to say, thanks Gil, for EVERYTHING.

My three Jolly Rockers have been laughing with me throughout this whole year, and I'm telling you, half of my ribs have been snapped into pieces because I laughed too much. Your fault, guys.

Now for the rest:
Ashley - Bubbly, cute, adorable, blur, funny, cartoon-like, artsy.....

Cleopatra was looking at her boobs.

I've known Ash since the first week of Form 1. It was English class and Set 1 and 3 had to share a class because the set teaching room wasn't ready to be used. So there she was, short and cute, carrying her load of books and looking blur and unsure. Yes, she was sooooo cute! =3 I offered her a seat next to mine and let her share my table, but we didn't talk much because I was very shy. I remember her asking me if she could use my correction tape, and I guess that's how we started talking. She used to visit me almost everyday during school holidays and we had so much fun swimming, playing badminton, lepak-ing around like nobody's business, pranking people online etc. We had so much fun during concert practice when we were in Form 1, and also in 2008 and 2009 when we joined the dance and choir.

My most cherished memories with Ash were those from last year when we went on holiday together on a cruise. We spent two or three days in Singapore and we had a heck of a time in Universal Studio, where I had my first roller coaster ride. I remember how she would grab my hand so tightly during the ride, almost crushing my bones to pieces. I also remember going onto the Revenge of the Mummy ride. Gosh, that was one helluva ride I will remember for the rest of my life.

We boarded Virgo Star Cruise and we really enjoyed ourselves the moment we stepped onto the ship. There was this huge performance on the top deck and we just...blended in with the crowd, laughing and shouting over each other's voice to talk. During the next three of four days, we would just have our breakfast in the morning, and walk around the ship, soaking ourselves in the cold pool while listening to Christmas carols that repeat themselves throughout the whole week, walking up and down the corridors, spying on the first-class cabins, renting Scrabble, going onto waterslides on the top deck, having ice-cream in our wetsuits, taking photos of the giant checker set, wandering in the lobby, falling asleep on the deckchairs and later waking up to find ourselves sunburnt, looking at the hot guai lows, hanging out on the top deck late at night, pretending to be Jack and Rose from Titanic, chilling out on deckchairs after dinner while enjoying the sea breeze that ruined our hair, sleep, running around in the raining Penang eating char-kuay-tiao, having a few strands of our hair braided in Phuket for what, 500 baht? (totally not worth it, but for memory's sake, we did it anyways), greeting random Thais in Chinese, eating disgusting congee with century eggs, hogging the jacuzzi, complaining about the noisy Chinese from China, climbing stairs from the bottom of the ship to the toppest floor just to see the paintings on every floor, getting lost trying to get back to our cabin, packing and finally, going home to Malaysia =(

 We watched a show after the Gala dinner

Freeezinng!!!

And drinking from a glass that shapes like a woman in Phuket

I would throw Ash into the crowd here.

After our vacation, I called Ash on the phone :"Hi Ash, have you taken off your braid yet?" 

Ash: "YES! Oh my god I was so freaked out because after I removed them, tons of my hair fell out! It's so scarrryyyyyy" Ah, gotta love you Ashley :) Thank you for being my friend, I'll be sure to visit you in Singapore next time!

Clarissa - Extremely kind, caring, absolutely angelic, loving, self-sacrificing (definitely), smart....

Whateverrr (credits to Vanna for the pic)

I met her during orientation day, and as if fate was playing around with us, I met her again before school started, on the 30th or 31st of December...in Lok Fok Restaurant! She was wearing a pink t-shirt, I remember.

Claire has been my classmate for 5 years since Form 1. Now...where to start? HAHA Let's start with Girls' Brigade! 

Claire has been a very, very good leader. Being a GB member since Form 1, and later a president, Claire had had a lot of tough times with me especially with all those yelling and shouting from a certain someone. We went through all that together and now, it's over *sniff* 

She is a very tough character, always believing in the positive side of situations and of course, always the one who solves the problem in the end. To be frank, I feel like I've always taken advantage of Claire because I know that somehow, she can solve everything and everything will be fine in the end. For that, Claire, I'm soooo sorry =(
I remember participating in GB's Junior Leader Training program back in 2007 with Claire and guess what? She forgot to bring her toothbrush! It's so funny that I'm lol-ing right now as I type. Sorry Claire, it's just so funny :')
Then in 2008 she became the commander for our GB company. I'll always remember how she would shout so hard in order to let herself be heard from the back of the squad. Ah good times.
In 2010 we had Evo Night and I believe that that was the most stressful event for her. Now that I look back at those events again, I can't help but to think that even though these events had stressed us out like mad, everything is coming to an end now and we won't ever, ever, get the chance to be stressed out like this again, at least, not for GB. HAHA.
Claire, I want to say I feel so very blessed to have a friend like you. You're always there to give a helping hand when I need it. Thanks Claire, for everything =) 

Rachel - Quiet, shy, extremely responsible, kind, funny (yes), helpful, optimistic....

Rachel and I have been schoolmates since we were 7, but I didn't know her personally until we were about 11 or 12 when we were partnered up to complete some assignment or project. Back in those days, she would hardly whisper a single thing because she was so extremely quiet in class. She would only speak when it's necessary. I only got to know her better when she transferred into WMS a few months into 2007. I remember how excited she got after she was accepted into WMS and called me to talk about it. Time sure flies really quickly. :')

Rachel is a very soft-spoken person. I mean, out of us three form 5 GB members she's the most quiet and gentlest. She's extremely responsible, hence her post in GB as the secretary and also library prefect for the school. She was also a prefect back in our primary school.
I am really grateful and thankful to have a friend like her because she's been really helpful to me and will always be there for me during hard times.
Rachel, I just wanna say, all the best in your future! And may you follow your dreams and succeed in your studies ;)

Ching - First of all Ching, I'm really really sorry for not being in school to eat your cupcake =3
Alright now Ching, she's determined, firm, strong (literally physically strong), has a mind of her own, a shopaholic(yes, everybody knows that)...
I've known Ching since Form One through...GB. Our first true bonding session happened during those nights in Junior Leader Training Camp when nobody would go to bed at 2 a.m. When I was 13, I found that Ching was rather intimidating because she was so tall and I was so short, I'm glad I've grown a few inches taller now, haha.
I'd like to remember those days when we would drag ourselves up to the hall for concert practice, because the thought of it is so funny. I really enjoyed concert practice, you know Ching? If it wasn't for you I think I'd be so bored and lonely D:
So now Ching, I'll give you a virtual hug! And...THANK YOU! for being my friend! Thanks for hanging out with me during break and lunch time! Thank you =)

*More updates soon*

A Mirrored Story

I stood in front of the mirror and saw a reflection of a stranger in my clothes. A stranger she was, I did not know her, other than the fact she was wearing the same type of clothes as I was. My extended finger touched hers and marred the perfect outline of her fingers. The mirror showed her faltered smile, which eventually dimmed the lights around us. Both of us left the mirror simultaneously, and we arrived at a forsaken place where all was dark, grey and mundane.

I could not understand; I was at a place where wooden floor planks creaked under my foot and mirrors stood everywhere but now, I was with her in this living graveyard or someplace of that sort, our feet trapped in layers of mud and grime. The fog was frightening, and I could sense a faint smell of iron. My replica stood at a distant. Her senses were sharpened as they were exposed to an unpleasant mix of iron and rotten meat. The smell was strangely familiar to my nose, as if I have smelt it at some point of my short life. It lingered at my throat, and I saw my replica wrinkled her nose and her eyebrows met with a frown. I ignored her.

I continued to walk on, and on, and on. The fortress in front of me began to show some of its dark outline, and soon I could see some poison ivy creeping up the old, giant fortress like little creeping pests. They were like claws grasping onto the frail walls, eating away the remaining bricks and cement. I took a few steps forward and was instantly met with a loud, booming noise, like thousands of cannons being released at the same time. The ground shook violently and I was there, stuck in a gigantic quicksand I thought was mud, my eyes darting everywhere in search for my replica, whom I later spotted yards away from me, standing as uselessly as I was in the quicksand that threatened to swallow us. All around me, bricks and cement and stones and rocks were thrown in all direction as the fortress fell; dust was mixed with the fog in the air and the howling of the wind tortured me (and my replica) with its stench of iron and bad meat. And then It stopped.

My heart was pounding madly against my ribcage. I did not remember being eaten up by the quicksand. I found myself sitting in the corner of a perfect little grey room, accompanied by a small girl of about four or five. Her tiny frock was neat and clean, but her face was strewn with what looked like dust and her own tears. Little creeping pests of poison ivy were slowly crawling their way up to her little ankles, but she sat there motionless, her eyes blank and dull and grey, just like her surroundings. On the walls, I saw her homework. It need not make any sense of why she was doing homework on her walls, but I felt I could sympathize with her. Her cute objets d’art were neatly lined up along the window like dominos.

Suddenly, I felt so cold; so did my companion. She produced a thin blanket and persuaded me to join her. We would play a game, she said. The person who stays in here the longest, wins.

It wouldn’t be hard, seeing as I was cold to my bones. We snuggled up in that thin blanket and I watched the poison ivy creeping up to my own ankle as how they had to my companion’s. I began to wonder what happened to my mirror friend.

There were cannons again. The ground shook under me and the floor began to part. My companion jumped to her feet (so she lost the game), pulling the poison ivy free from her ankle and looked out of the window. Her objets d’art had fallen like dominos, and out of her reach. I would spare some of my compassion for her broken decorative items if I wasn’t so afraid of the failing ceiling. I mimicked my little friend by pulling my ankles free of those poison ivy and I stood there, in the middle of the room, looking for a door. I saw that my replica had returned to me, and together, we watched my little friend cried silently on the floor while the ceiling above us started to let go of some particles. What I hadn’t noticed before was a sole Victorian mirror which hung on the furthest end of the room’s wall. Also, lined up against the walls were chunks of unrecognizable stuff which emitted a foul smell. I knew they were the source of the iron-and-bad-meat-smell, and later, to my horror, I realized it was the smell of blood and flesh. A closer look gave me the confirmation I needed. The gory details made me nauseous.

And a little confusion left me dazed: the room was a perfect little room, how quickly it had expanded.

The quake had stopped now; the eerie silence was killing me.

The little girl had stopped crying too, and she led us to that mirror. The walk wasn’t long, but I would appreciate if the morbid images were omitted from our journey. And then, we arrived.

Now, all three of us stood in front of the big mirror, but I could only see one reflection.

Me.

okay so no new posts for the past few days. How am I going to make up for it? =D
I seriously think there isn't any need to blog now, unless I have something important to say or anything...So I think I'm going on hiatus on blogger for a while =) Forgive me...my very few readers *ahem*ryan*ahem*

Exams is around the corner, and I am not ready yet. NO no.
Sejarah is killing me, and I still don't know how to do Simultaneous Linear Equations. Im dead, no? Anyway, I don't think I'll be using the internet for about...4 days? Well at least not until exams is over. I do hope I have some supernatural abilities to study in a more effective way, but then again, that's what everybody wishes for right? Now, all I can do is to study, and pray to God that he'll be gracious to me and grant me wisdom and clarity for the dreaded event. Then when everything is over, I shall brace myself for a one week holidays...ah paradise =)

missing someone who's at taekwondo camp

Lols. Kids...FYI, I have nothing against JB and Justin Bieber. Justin Beaver.

I have set my blog to private. So if you're reading this, you're one of the lucky eight or nine readers whom I have allowed to read. I know I have been complaining about the lack of readers and all, but well since I don't have many readers I might as well set it to private, so I know I can safely blog about whoever and whatever I like, and only the eight or nine of you can read about it. This way, I can diss about people I don't like ;D

Hmm yesterday at uncle's place was AWFUL. I spent half a day sitting in the dining room reading, the other half using my other uncle's blackberry to go online. Damn what an unproductive day, if it wasn't for ang pows and showing my face to all my not-so-close relatives, I wouldn't have gone there. Guess what, they are putting together a steamboat fiesta at uncle's place on Wednesday and guess what? I ain't going there. Number one, I hate steamboat. Number two, what am I supposed to do there? Sit and watch them eat? All my cousins are either way to young or too old for me to be hanging out with. I would rather stay home where Internet access is available.

Oh when i was having my breakfast this morning, my mother walked into the dining room, telling me she had a joke. Apparently, my idiot of a cousin sister*ahem* had indirectly insulted my aunt's size. Now, let me tell you, yes my aunt can be a little big in size, but who the hell is she to comment on my aunt's size when she herself, is a big lump of elephant fats too? I know, my cousins can be quite a handful of shit to handle but this, is the last straw. Idiots.

It has been so freaking long since I last posted something here. By the way, Happy Chinese New Year and Happy Valentines Day and 3rd-week anniversary (LOL), to a certain someone ;)

i swear i'm turning into a supergirl now. this blog is lacking of interesting updates. im sorry peeps. it's just that i'm a boring person and well...so is this blog

I have been very lonely nowadays. I go to school in the morning, sit in class for 5 minutes, getting morning greetings from xin yuan(who never failed to do so), retrieve some books from my locker, eat a tic-tac, and go downstairs. To the bench I sit, and stare at the trees. Watch the cars go, and wait for nobody to come. Yeah the day repeats itself for 5 days. Wanna read about my break and lunch time too? It's about the same, except sometimes there would be a couple of friends like Claire and Ashley who actually take up some time to chat with me, to help me to kill off my boredom and loneliness. So like I said, everyday is a routine. I told myself this morning:"At least I'm not oblivious to loneliness and the feeling of getting hurt, or else I would be dead by now."

Now, my only friends in school are those who have actually been putting up with me since form 1, I greatly appreciate them. The feeling of loss remains.

And yeah I should slap myself. You're asking me why the hell I'm blogging at this hour when I usually don't? Cuz I left my file in the art room. My homework is in there.